Tuesday, May 15, 2012

The First Step is Admitting You Have a Problem

Hi, my name is Lillian, and I'm addicted to Brad's Raw Kale Chips.

You see, these kale chips -- particularly the Vampire Killer variety -- are freakin' delicious.  They're garlicky, savory, crispy...everything a girl could want in a chip, but made from kale.  Kale!  It's so damn good for you!  How could I possibly resist the allure of something so delicious and nutritious?

They come with a hefty price tag, though.  $8 bucks a pop ain't cheap.

However, it's a known fact that addicts will lie, cheat, and steal to get the money for their next fix.  So, who stashed away cash so she could go get some kale chips without it showing up on her bank statement?

I did.

Furthermore, if it came down to the last box of Vampire Killer kale chips in the Arlington Whole Foods, I'm pretty sure I'd shank anyone standing between me and that coveted box of leafy green magic.

It started dawning on me last year that I might have just a small problem when it comes to my unbridled love of the aforementioned kale chips, so I added a dehydrator to our wedding registry in hopes that I'd be able to make my own.  After seven million failed attempts at recreating the deliciousness of my store-bought kale chips in the oven (half-soggy and half-burned = epic fail), I figured I needed to figure out what this dehydration buzz was all about.

So I put it on the registry, and voila, we were soon owners of a lovely dehydrator.

But who found it intimidating as all get-out?  Who looked at it and thought "Shit, this thing is going to be a huge pain to clean" and then didn't use it?  That'd be me, y'all.

Last weekend, though, I finally hit the kale chip addiction wall.  It was time to suck it up and overcome my fear of the dehydrator.

FEAR ME.  Or not.  Whatevs, it's your call.

I'd been wanting to try Angela Liddon's recipe for sundried tomato kale chips since she first posted the recipe on her (absolutely awesome) blog, Oh She Glows.  So after a day -- ok, almost a year -- of giving the dehydrator the side-eye, I marched right up to it, pulled it off the shelf, washed it, and got to work on the kale chips.

I amended Angela's recipe by adding more garlic (10 cloves - did I mention that I love garlic?) and omitting the basil in favor of some diced onion (1/4 cup).

I worked the cashew-sundried tomato-garlic mixture (which, I should add, was insanely good.  I nearly freebased half of it just standing in my kitchen.) into the kale, carefully laid it out on the rings of the dehydrator, and turned 'er on.

12 hours later I had kale chips that rival even the best of my boy Brad's.  No joke.  So, for about the same amount of money -- the ingredients cost about $8 -- I made four times as many kale chips as  I can buy at the store.

It's a win-win for everyone: I get to have delicious kale chips without having to spend an obnoxious amount of money, and everyone at Whole Foods can relax and not feel like they have to watch their six to keep from being attacked by a crazy kale chip addict.  Huzzah!


EPIC WIN!




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